About This Blog

The focus of this blog will be to share insight on transformation to become the person we are meant to be and to drive the success we deserve in our businesses.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Who are you "being"?

Who are you being?  How is it working for you?  Are you getting what you want in your life?  Are you achieving your dreams and goals?  
I recently sat down for coffee (well, I had tea and he had coffee) with a Home Party Consultant who in a very short time has grown his business to tremendous success.  I wanted to pick his brain on what he’s doing right and apply what I could to my business.
As the conversation went on I realized it’s not specific things he’s doing right – and there are definitely things he’s doing right – that’s generating his success.  It’s who he’s “being” that attracts people to him and his products and is generating his success.
That reminded me of famous concept of be-do-have.  The idea is that we need to “be“ a certain way and “do” certain things to “have” what we want in life.
Big lottery winners are great examples to demonstrate this.  Did you know that something like 95% of big lottery winners lose it all and/or go bankrupt?  That’s because they started with “have” and didn’t have to “be” a certain way or “do” a particular thing to get their wealth.  So when massive amounts of money are handed to them they don’t know how to handle it and greatly mismanage their fortune.  The same example can be found in children who inherit great sums of money.  It’s their parents who had to “be” and “do”, not them.  So like a friend’s client did, they squander large fortunes in a very short period of time.
So, let me ask you again - are you getting what you want in your life?  Are you achieving your dreams and goals?  If not, I might suggest examining who you are being and improving on it.  From there “do” and “have” follow instinctively and effortlessly.  Have you ever noticed how some people just do things and it’s so natural and effortless for them?  That’s their “being.”   We all are capable of tapping into our best “being” to achieve great things.  One step to do that is to  find our true self and honoring that, not try to be what and who someone else wants us to be. 
I welcome your feedback on this blog post on Facebook, Twitter or linked in or at shari@sharimcguire.com and may ask to use your feedback in a future blog.  Good news - I’m redoing my blog soon so you can comment below.  

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

I’ll be happy to....

I’m finding those four words are very powerful in the vocabulary of a parent.  I’m using them to help Trevor, my 3 1/2 year old son, make wise choices.  “I’ll be happy to play with you after you wipe your fingers off. “  “I’ll be happy to give you a bedtime snack after you put away your puzzle.”

My husband and I are taking a Parenting With Love And Logic class through our church and we love the results.  I read the book a while back and really liked it - in fact I have a guest blog on Star Tribune because I shared my enthusiasm for the book with a Star Tribune writer friend I have:  http://www.startribune.com/blogs/90224152.html.
What we’ve noticed in particular is that Trevor hasn’t had a temper tantrum in quite a few days now because the structure he craves is in better place now and he is held responsible for his actions.  For example, last week he was goofing off to avoid getting his teeth brushed during bed time and I told him, “bummer, you aren’t cooperating to get your teeth brushed so I won’t tell any Trevor stories tonight.”  While that didn’t go over well, he’s become far more cooperative at bedtime because of that and losing some prized possessions such as his nightlight (“bummer, you played with your nightlight again which is very dangerous.  Daddy and I will give it back to you when you are responsible enough to have one”).
I also really like our new approach for transitioning.  For example, we used to count down before leaving a park - 10 minutes, 9 minutes, 8 minutes, etc.  And then he would sometimes get bonus minutes and it wouldn’t always be a pretty ending because Trevor wouldn’t always agree that he was given enough bonus minutes.  Now, I just note on my watch when it’s 10 minutes before we want to leave and ask him, “our time is almost up at the park, would you like to leave now or in 10 minutes?”  Of course he picks in 10 minutes.  When the 10 minutes is up, I say it’s time to leave and he comes without a fuss.  Gotta love that!
It’s hard not to rescue Trevor all the time and I know it’s good for him so I’m letting him figure things out more when it’s safe for him to do so.  For example, yesterday, we went for a walk - well, I walked and Trevor rode his bike.  He rode up on the grass and instead of pushing him back off the grass I asked him what he could do to get unstuck.  He got off, pushed his bike off the grass and got back on.  I then said, “how does that make you feel to figure out how to get off the grass?”  He said, “good.”
What Trevor is learning through all of this is to make wise decisions so that when he’s faced with life changing decisions when he’s older, he can make wise choices such as the son of one of the authors of the book:  the author’s son wanted desperately to go a party when he was in high school and for whatever reason his dad wouldn’t let him take the car (a consequence for an action of his) and his dad suggested he have his friend take him.  Suddenly the author’s son no longer wanted to go to the party and it came out that the friend liked to drink and his son didn’t want to get in the car with that friend (whose mom was a drill sergeant and didn’t teach his friend how to make wise choices).  That party ended in tragedy because the friend drove himself and a carload of kids over a cliff in his drunkenness.  If only he’d been given the chance to make wise choices when it wasn’t a matter of life and death; perhaps all of those kids would still be with us today.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

What sitting in a gorilla cage taught me about being an entrepreneur

Lately I’ve been pondering how I got from there to here and have been pleasantly surprised to “discover” many experiences from my childhood that prepared me for my current foray into entrepreneurship.   I’ll share two experiences with you today.
Let’s start with pizza demos.  When I was growing up, my parents owned a grocery store and I would give out samples of pizza to customers.  This required the courage to approach both people I knew and didn’t know with the offer of a taste of pizza because experiencing the pizza would open them up to the possibility of purchasing a product they may not otherwise have purchased.   Hmm.  Sounds like our Body Magic custom fittings -- the experience of wearing a Body Magic sells the product because experiencing is believing and purchasing one becomes the customer’s idea.
Ok, so you’re probably wondering about the gorilla cage.  When I was in Jr. High, my Dad devised a marketing gimmick for the grocery store for the Summer Circus Days promotion - he created a gorilla cage out of a large cardboard box, hung a gorilla suit in the cage and placed in-the-shell peanuts in the cage.  Customers were to guess how many peanuts were in the cage to win a prize.  For an extra laugh, my Dad would have my sister or I put on the gorilla suit and sit really still until people approached the cage and then we’d move to scare the customers.  From that experience, I learned to have fun and be creative in my sales approach.  People remembered that gorilla suit for a long time and I’ve been told my BNI (Business Network Int’l) commercials are memorable because I make them fun and creative.
I’ve learned that when we are passionate about what we’re doing and having fun, that shines through to others and they are attracted to what we’re up to.  When we’re in our drudgery, no one wants to be a part of that and people scatter.  Are you living your passion?

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

"I can't fix your head"

That’s what my surgeon told me when I met with him regarding LapBand surgery.  I wholeheartedly agreed and told him I’d already been working on my head for a year prior to deciding that LapBand is a good option for me.
You see, every single person I knew to that point that had undergone weight loss surgery had gained their weight back and then some.  Out of their experiences, I came to believe that living permanently at a healthy weight is 95% mental and 5% physical.  When we don’t win the mental battle, we lose the physical one.  Being overweight covers up other issues for people and as we lose weight we must make a mindshift to be OK as a trimmer, healthier person.
As I embarked on my weight loss surgery journey, it became clear to me that a huge gap exists in the marketplace to help people successfully shift their minds - that is coaching people through their transformations.
Counseling is encouraged which is good because it can help people be at rest with deep issues such as having suffered abuse as a child.  Support groups are also highly touted; it’s really easy to get lost in them though because the support is at a group level and may not address where you’re at.
Coaching takes it further.  Galileo Gallilei said it perfectly when he said, "Coaching is about improving the individual's capacity to focus, learn, and innovate....You cannot teach a person anything; you can only help him find it within himself."  We all have it within ourselves to achieve what we want in life and a coach can guide us, push us and even give us a kick in the butt when we need it.
That idea of coaching being the missing element is what sparked the company Tracy Jo and I started called EmberBrite and ultimately led to my leaving a long-time corporate career to become an entrepreneur full-time.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

What Is Your Fearless

I was recently asked that by Mary Ann Halpin internationally acclaimed author and photographer at the eWomen Network Conference in Dallas, TX when I showed up for my Fearless Women photograph above.
At first I was uncertain about my answer and then it came to me.  In May of 2010 I walked away from a 19 year career and a six figure income at a large financial institution as an Information Technology Project Manager to start my own business.  Bigger than that, I walked away without a replacement salary in place.  With my husband’s work being a stay-at-home-dad the stakes are unbelievably high and yet I believe it was the right thing to do and gratefully I had my husband’s support to resign.  I still strongly believe that was the right move for me and am loving my life as an entrepreneur.
At first the picture above didn’t strike me as “the one” because I wanted what I perceived to be a more powerful stance such as sword drawn or powerfully placed in front of me.  In the end, this is the picture that brought heartfelt tears to my eyes because it represents the amazing transformation my life is going through and the vulnerability required of me to complete that transformation.  Mary Ann’s picture captured me perfectly at this moment in time!  And, I must add that Nicole Bolin did a fantastic job on my hair and makeup.
Now it’s your turn, what is your Fearless?